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Porn Star "Acting"

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Poorly Pretending to Know Sign Language

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Poorly Hiding That You See Dead People

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Political Pundit on FOX News

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1920s-1950s Radio Drama

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Playing Russian Roulette

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Playing Air Guitar In Increasing Complexity

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Pissed and Quitting Your Job

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Keeps Getting the Facts Wrong

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Person Who is Sweating a LOT

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Performing in a Broadway Musical

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Pep-Talk Football Coach

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Passive Aggressively Polite

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Passive Aggressive Boss

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Enthusiastic Cheerleader

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Overly Cutesy Baby-Talking

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Overbearing Mother-in-Law

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Over-Enunciated Whisper

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Old-timey Telephone Operator

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Old Theatre Actor Who Misses the Stage

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Old Man Who Cannot Find His Keys

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Occasionally Make Dolphin Noises

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No Control of Your Limbs

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News Anchor with Anal Itching

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News Anchor

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Motivational Speaker

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Moses Who is Just Making Up Commandments

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Mortal Kombat (Any Fighting Game) Announcer

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Morbid Morose Mortician

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Moon Landing Radio Comms

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Mobster Lingo

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Melodic Gregorian Chanting

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Medieval Knight

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Medieval Court Proclamation

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Mad Scientist

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Lonely Ghost in a Haunted Castle

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Lisping Snake Charmer

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Lawyer Reading a List of Crimes for the Accused

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Kinetic Wacky Waving Arms

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Just Woke Up

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Just a Little Bit of Rabies

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Jesus at the Last Supper

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Jerky Stop-Motion Animation

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Jeff Goldblum Storytelling

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Jealous Lover

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Itchy. You're SO Itchy. You Itch.

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Intrusive Street Interviewer

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Interrogated Criminal Who Won't Snitch

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In The Middle of Shock Therapy

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Hyperventilating

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Hyperactive Game Streamer

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How You Imagine a Turtle Speaks

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911 Dispatcher

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Hobo with a Big Idea

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Hippie Who Took Too Much Acid

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Hip-Hop Hype Man

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High-School Mean Girl

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High School Morning Annoucement

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Hiding That Your Hand is Stuck in a Jar

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Hermit out in the Woods

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Having Difficulty Defusing a Bomb

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Haunted Mansion Tour Guide

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Hasty Spam Email Pitch

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Grumpy Old Man

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Grizzled War Veteran

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Greedy Corporate Executive

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Grab the Nearest (Object) That Can Talk

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Good ol' Frontier Gibberish

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Gilbert Gottfried

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Giant at the Top of the Beanstalk

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Gentle Lullaby Murmuring

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Game Show Host

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Frankenstein's Monster

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Foot-Stompin' Toe-Tappin' Hoedown!

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Fluctuating Random Emotions

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Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

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Flight Attendant Who Cannot Stop Smiling

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Fidgety Squirrel

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Feminist Frat Bro

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Fairy Tale Narrator

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Extremely Low-Frequency Sexy Talk

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Extremely Emotional Teen

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Exhausted Traffic Cop

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Excruciatingly Slow Sloth

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Excited 1920's Radio Narrator

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Excitable Jungle Safari Tour Guide

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Everyone Around You is Way Too Loud

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Every Disney Villain

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Euphoric Sleep-Talking

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Enunciation Teacher. Showing. You. How. Its. Done.

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Eeyore Gloomy Talk

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Wizard’s Spells on Weed

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Drunk Pastor Giving a Sermon

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Drunk Irish / Scottish (Your Pick)

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Droning Monotone Doom Prophet

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Dripping Sarcasm

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Dramatic Soap Opera Star

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Dramatic Opera Singer

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Doomsday Street-Corner Preacher

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Done in the Style of "I'm a Little TeaPot"

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Unexpected Benefits to the Dark Side

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Unexpected Bees

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Tooth Fairy Hostility

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Things You Can Say In Space and in Bed

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Stuff You Can Say About Your Math Test, But Not Your Partner

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What You Can Say About Anime, But Not Your Partner

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Phrases To Say About Taco Bell, But Not About Your Partner

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Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person

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Things Not to Say at The Urinal

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Things A Sports Announcer Would Say, That Also Applies to ED Medication

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The Sex Lives of Looney Tunes

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The Radical Big-Budget Story of Baby Jesus

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The New Tagline(s) For Subway Sandwiches

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Lyrics to an 80's Song

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The Lost (And Rejected) Harry Potter Book Title

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The Last Text You Sent Before Dying

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The Other Rules of Fight Club Are...

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The Cult Summoned The Wrong God...

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The "Other" Biblical Plagues Left Out of The Bible

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Terrible Ideas For Tattoos

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Terrible Follow-Ups to "With All Due Respect"

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Terrible "Last Words" Examples

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Surreal Fortune Cookies

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Stupid Ideas for Witchcraft Recipes & Spells

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Strange Things to Summon by Saying It 3 Times

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Strange Penances After Confession

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Strange Awards Given on Prom Night

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Made Up Sports That Never Caught On

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Scandalous Corporate Embezzlement Tips

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Wholesome Torture Stories

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Sewage Plant Tour

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Sexual Poses Rejected by The Kama Sutra

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Siri Is Giving You Attitude

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Running a Few Errands Before The Murder

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Psychic Hotlines

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Relationship Drama

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Rejected Yankee Candle Scents

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Rejected Valentines Day Poems

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Rejected Passages from The Book of Revelation

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Rejected Baby Names

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Recite As Many Nursery Rhymes as You Can

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Questionable Smoothie Flavors

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Psychopathic Job Interviews

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Pornographic Gingerbread Houses

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Strange Ways to Exit an Orgy

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Pirate Torture Methods That Don't Work

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Phone Sexting Tips & Tricks

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Perfect Pick-Up Lines to Stay Single

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Overheard Coffee Shop Confessions

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Outlandish Criminal Fantasies

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Oooh... Not Great Wedding Vows

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Awful Theme Park Ideas

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Terrible Reality Show Ideas

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Strange Graffiti Tagging

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Cookbook for Roadkill Cuisine

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Offended By Tofu

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Oddly Specific "Q" Inventions For James Bond

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Oddly Sexualized Star Trek Episode

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Odd Things For Your Dentist to Suggest

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Odd Flavors for Medicine

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Odd Compliments To Give To A Stranger

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Obviously False Urban Legends

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Obscene Marriage Ceremony Ideas

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New And Interesting Superstitions

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New & Interesting Leprechaun Conspiracies

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Mundane Tasks That Would Be Better With Lightsabers

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Morbid Family Heirloom Tales

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Managing to Seduce a Dragon

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Maliciously Spiked Bake Sale Goods

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Lies Told To Escape Dinner With In-Laws

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Lewd Costume Party Outfits

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Last Time on Bridgerton...

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Lame Powers for the New X-Men

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Kids Party Games at the Orgy

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Justifying Showing Up To Class in Your Underwear

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Job Interview Questions You Did Not Expect

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Jigsaws Latest Trap is Not Up to Snuff

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It Was a Great First Date, But I Should Mention....

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Interior Decoration Tips by Satan

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Incorrect Steps to Genital Waxing

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Inappropriate Things To Borrow From Your Neighbor

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Illogical Ways to Try to Swing a Jury

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Ill-Advised Backyard Lab Experiments

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If Pornography Was Realistic

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If Porn Videos Had Clickbait Titles

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If Mind-Readers Were Uncomfortably Accurate

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If Call Center Employees Were Honest

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How You Will Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

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How You Botched That Last Surgery

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How Much Spanish You Know

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How Many Cats is Too Many Cats?

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How Did You End Up Naked In The Desert?

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How Best to Stalk a Celebrity

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Hot Take on World War III

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Horrifying Seance Faux Pas

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Health Benefits to an All Fast Food Diet

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Hazardous Hot Pepper Water Gun Fights

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Hateful Obituary Revenge Ads

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Grotesque (And False) Historical Torture Methods

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Grossly Over Sharing Social Media